I Have Loved You For The Last Time
by imaklutz
Summary: "We had the stars, you and I, and this is given once only." Oliver whispered to Elio as he cupped his cheeks. / Oliver x Elio from Call Me By Your Name


**I absolutely loved this movie so I decided to write a fanfic with a different ending. Cause that ending broke my heart and I cried a river.**

 **Olive x Elio**

 **No smut, just pure fluff so that I can heal my heart and hopefully yours as well. (Okay, maybe smut... maybe)**

 **This is set after the phone call.**

 **!Disclaimer! I Do Not Own _Call Me By Your Name! This fanfic is just out of my imagination._**

 ** _!Listen to Visions of Gideon by Sufjan Stevens on loop for full immersion! (Or the entire soundtrack of the movie)_**

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 _Italic texts mean thoughts_

 ** _A bold italic text is used when Elio and Oliver use their own names to call each other_**

This is just a normal text

 **This is used to add extra drama on a dialogue**

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The cold winds of winter has passed, the flowers have bloomed and now summer is on its way. Usually at this time Elio would be looking forward to their new visitor. But it's different now. Oliver is the only person he's expecting.

A lot can happen within a few months. Elio has accepted the fact that Oliver is living a life that doesn't have him in the picture, but still his heart aches. Marzia remained as his close friend and most of the time that they're together Elio would only talk about Oliver and how much he misses him. As much as this hurts Marzia, she too has accepted the fact that someone else has got Elio's heart.

Perlman and Annella, as usual, are very excited to welcome their new house guest. Around this time of the year their house is very busy preparing the room and an entire feast for the guest. Elio, even though he's not up to it, still helps us by cleaning up his room out of respect.

In a few hours the guest will arrive. Elio chose to wear the blue shirt Oliver gave him the morning after they first slept together. This is the closest he can get to holding, touching Oliver. It makes him feel closer to him this way.

Elio lied down on his bed and recalled a similar moment. When Oliver first came to their household, confident and enthralling. That time when his heart was still whole.

Unconsciously playing with his necklace and slowly putting it in between his lips, he closes his eyes and breathes as he waits for the guest patiently.

A couple of hours has passed and Elio fell asleep, he missed the arrival of the guest. He woke up confused and angry, slowly he got up and looked out the window to see the sun setting. By now he would be rushing to meet the guest but he's not up for it. He doesn't really care by now.

Elio left his room and ruffled his hair. He looked for his parents in the living room, in his father's study and even out by the dining area. They were nowhere to be found, even Mafalda wasn't around. He furrowed his brows with confusion, _where could they be?_

Elio shrugged and decided to wander around the backyard aimlessly as the sky began to darken. They have become so much of each other that summer. Elio is more of a man now, his heart set for one.

 _Do you think of me still? Do you remember our memories together, Oliver?_

 _" **Elio,** "_ he whispered into the wind, closing his eyes hoping that somehow the wind will take his whispers to Oliver " _ **Elio, Elio, Elio, Elio, Elio, Elio, Elio, Elio...** "_

Placing his hand to his chest, holding back his tears. Slowly tracing his fingers to his lips, recalling how Oliver used to caress them so gently, tracing its very shape like some piece of art. Remembering the last time their lips have touched and their tongues have intertwined. Remember the last time they have embraced each other and hearing chants of his name come out of his mouth so tenderly.

Elio sat down by the pool and let his feet get wet. Ignoring the cold shivers up his thighs, he remembers how Oliver swam as he transcribed his music, how Oliver sat down next to him and intertwined their toes. It was so innocent yet it gave him to much joy. He grabbed the collar of his blue shirt and pulled it close to his nose to inhale its scent. Trying to remember how it used to smell like Oliver when he gave it to him. Now it's fading, just like his memories of them together. The thought of him not remembering every single moment they have spent together hurts Elio. The last thing he will ever want is to lose anything that is of Oliver. Even the thought of him. That is what he has left of him.

 _Do you know how lonely I've been, Oliver? I want to be with you._

Stars covered the sky as Elio looked up, he didn't realise that it was already so late. Even with just thoughts of Oliver, time passes by so quickly. He stood up from pool, his toes soaked and wrinkly. He slowly made his way back to the house, the thought of him being alone in the house did not bother him anymore. He glanced by the piano and remembered Oliver, again. How he asked him to play Cappricio by Bach, he was so mesmerised by the way Elio played and he loved the attention he got from Oliver. The satisfaction of finally doing something that impresses.

He stared at the instrument for a while before finally approaching it. Pulling back the seat carefully, afraid to make too much noise, and just stared at the black and white keys. He caresses the keys gently and began to play a melody. He had no audience, he didn't want one. Right now, he only wanted to play for one person. One that will truly appreciate the way he played the piece, appreciate the way his fingers danced on the keys and the expression he had on his entire body. He longed for Oliver's gaze on him always.

Elio sighed, he does not know what he is doing. He stood up and walked away from the piano. Climbing up the stairs and back to his room. Not bothering to take his clothes off, he decided that the only piece of clothing that reminds him of Oliver's strong arms will make him feel a little better. After taking his shoes off, he threw himself onto his bed and slept his loneliness away.

 _ **Morning**_

Not even wanting to leave the bed, Elio sat up and pondered for a moment. Letting his drowsiness fade away as the sunlight hit his skin warm. He looked at his watch and realised that he woke up later than he usually does. Finally leaving the bed, he puts on his shoes and walks downstairs. Hopefully, he'll still catch his parents having breakfast with their visitor.

Elio greeted Mafalda a pleasant morning before making his way outside to have some breakfast.

"Good morning Elio!" his father happily gave Elio a smile as he put down the newspaper he was reading "You're up later than usual!"

"Good morning... Yeah I don't know I was just so tired.." Elio scratched the back of his neck and approached his mother and kissed her on the cheek.

"You just missed our guest, again." Annella fondly caressed her son's shoulder "Shame, they were very excited to see you."

"Oh well... another time then." Elio sat down and began to tend to his food "They'll be here for awhile so there's still chance to meet."

"That is true, but they're our guest, it's disrespectful that you haven't shown your face or introduced yourself at least." Elio's dad took a sip from his cup.

"Yeah I know, I'll introduce myself and apologise later. Do you know where they are? Maybe I can still catch up to them..."

"To town, they said they have something to pick up. I think you'll still catch them if you go now."

Elio quickly took a last bite and swallowed, swiftly wiping his mouth clean with a cloth and stood up "Alright, later!"

"Later!" the couple chuckled together.

Elio grabbed his bicycle and made his way to town. He has no idea where to look first, he knows nothing about their guest and where they're most likely to be. He unconsciously travelled to all the spots where he'd find Oliver. These are the places he knows best, he doesn't know why he's going to these places in the first place. It's not like their visitor is Oliver. Impossible.

After several minutes of riding his bicycle all around town, Elio finally got tired and gave up. He found himself in the middle of town, right where he confessed to Oliver.

 _Everywhere I go, there's a ghost of you. Everywhere I go there's a memory of you. I can't escape you Oliver. I just can't. I don't know if I want to, but it hurts._

Elio shook his thoughts away, his heart throbbed. Even though he knows that Oliver has already left, he still chases after him in places where he used to exist. As if he's hoping that one day, while he's riding his bicycle, he'll come across a familiar face. Oh what Elio would do just to catch a glimpse of his love once more, just for the last time. Before he lets go of him completely.

He could feel his eyes fill with tears, with a just a mere thought of letting Oliver go hurts him. So tired and broken, Elio got on his bicycle and pedalled as fast as he can to his favourite spot. Away from everyone. He could feel his ankles ache, his lungs scream for air, and his mouth long for water. But he does not stop, he feels that if he stops, the thoughts of Oliver will catch up to him. The road is long, but as long as he can put his mind away from thoughts that will bring tears to his eyes, he'll pedal faster.

Passing by the good old lady that once gave them a glass of cold water, Elio didn't stop or look back, he pedalled faster until he reached the fields. Taking his shoes off and kicking his bicycle to the side, Elio jumped on the cold waters of the lake and sat on the grass where him and Oliver shared their first kiss.

The wind was warm and calm, the grass tickled his skin as he lied back. Elio closed his eyes and and listened to his own heart beat, it was so quiet, he could almost feel Oliver next to him. Whispering stories and caressing his face so delicately. He remembers, the way Oliver held the back of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss, their skins rubbing against each other, their breaths against each other's necks and their hands intertwined. He remembers that way Oliver's eyes gazed on him, as if Oliver was memorising every detail, every curve, every mark of Elio's body. This was their spot, it was all theirs. Here time stopped, and here was where heaven reached down to earth.

Suddenly, a rustling noise followed by a splash of water could be heard nearby. Elio was startled and suddenly jumped up from his comfortable position, he hid behind a bush with a confused look on his face. No one else but Oliver knew of this place. Maybe it's just an animal, or maybe it was just the wind, Elio thought.

Slowly and carefully Elio approached where the noise came from, peeking behind bushes and crouching as low as he can to not be noticed by whatever it was that startled him. Stopping at a secure place, just behind a tree beside the lake. On the other side of the lake where he left his bicycle was another bicycle identical to his, it was parked on a nearby tree and beside it was a pair of shoes. Clinging onto the tree as he extended his neck further to try and see the person who found his secret place.

A tall man, blonde slick back hair, wearing incredibly short shorts and a polo shirt. Elio's eyes widened, his heart stopped. Without thinking, he stepped out of his hiding spot and slowly approached the stranger. A broad back, and slightly tanned skin. Elio gulped, tears filling his eyes, he tried to reason with his mind. _Maybe I'm just hallucinating, I miss him so much that I'm re-creating our memories together._

The tall man hasn't noticed Elio, but he seemed like he was looking around in search of something, or someone. He sighed and placed his fists on his hips, he looked at his reflection on the water and slowly reached out to it. Cupping his hands and collecting a handful of water, he splashes it on his face. He breathes in and breathes out loudly, almost sanctifying himself and breathing in everything that has touched the water.

Elio is frozen in place, he's too afraid to move. Afraid that if he does, it will all go away. Slowly the tall blonde man turns around, his eyes are closed, feeling the wind around him. It's as if he's found what he was looking for, right here in this heaven. Elio opened his mouth to say something but he couldn't, his voice wouldn't come out.

The tall blonde opened his eyes and was taken aback from what he saw before him. Elio, with tears running down his cheeks. None of them moved, they only stared into each other's eyes, as if that was their way of communicating with each other. Only their hearts and their eyes.

There standing before Elio was the very person who taught him what love was and broke his heart. The blue eyed American. Elio felt happiness wash over him once again, but it was quickly replaced with fear. Fear that this will only break his heart even more. But that does not stop him, he may be afraid but he is not coward. He's always listened to his heart, ignoring the screaming in his mind. All seemed to stop once again. Here in their spot, where time stops, where heaven reaches down to Earth.

Elio gathered all his courage and poured all the love he has left to say the sweetest words he could think of, " _ **Elio...**_ "

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 **I cannot even put into words how much I loved this movie. I still re-watch it and cry at the end. The acting was fantastic and the atmosphere of the movie truly immerses you. Ughhhhh I love Elio and Oliver so much that my heart broke and felt Elio's pain.** **That part in the phone phone call when Elio just whispered his name several times hit me. The music with the scenes fit perfectly and there was just so much chemistry between the two.**

 **I originally planned on this to just be a one-shot, but I don't know I think I'll make chapters. I loved the movie so much I want it to live longer... (If that makes sense) So for this story I took a lot of inspiration from the original script that may or may not have been shown in the film, I thought that adding all that originality from the film/script and present it here will create more of a connection. I'm not copying or anything, Im letting you know that I did take inspiration from the script itself, which you can check yourself!**

 **Anyways, I hope you liked this little fanfic that I wrote! It means so much to me and I worked so hard to write it for the sake of the story and the movie. Please feel free to share your thoughts with me about the fanfic or anything and tell me how you liked the movie! And if you're just here for random reasons and haven't seen the movie, GO WATCH IT!**


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